Pax (funcrunch) wrote,

  • Mood:

Food, fitness, willpower, and body image

Today, tired of the flab around my waist that's making my pants increasingly tight and pushing my belt to the last available hole, I eschewed my traditional breakfast croissant, avoided the vending machines, and did not eat a single piece of Halloween candy. I've gotten too complacent, forgetting that the good feeling I get from eating food rich in vitamins and minerals far outlasts the temporary high I get from fat- and sugar-laden treats. I've been eating out nearly every single day, barely using our kitchen, while boyziggy prepares healthy juices which put me to shame. My junk food habit simply needs to stop.

I don't think I can handle going on a very restrictive diet or strenuous exercise program right now. Nothing temporary will be useful to me in the long term. I have to plan a diet and fitness program I can live with. Things like eliminating sugary sodas and candy bars, eating a lot more vegetables, making a point of bringing lunch from home most days and not snacking out of boredom. Starting to walk to work every day again, even though the rainy season is approaching. Or even jogging again. I do miss those early mornings on the Aquatic Park pier.

Part of the excuse for my backsliding is that I've been getting a lot of welcome physical attention lately, which has made me feel more attractive and good about my body, even though it's larger than I want it to be. Everyone's different, of course, but I know that I'm carrying around too much excess fat - at least 25 pounds of it - for optimal health. It's not just an aesthetic issue, it's a matter of avoiding clogged arteries and other deadly ailments down the line. I'm 37, I can't eat like I'm a teenager forever and expect to get away with it.

I don't know how long it will take me to lose the weight. It all depends on willpower at this point. Around this time of year I like to look at the calendar and see how many weeks it is till my birthday, and then figure out how many pounds per week I'd need to lose to make my goal by that date. But that's been a losing proposition every single time. I need some other motivation and method of measurement. Health and well-being should be a sufficient motivation, ideally; the whole foods I ate today tasted so good, I'm convinced I was actually getting malnourished. But it's hard to remember that when faced with familiar temptations. As far as measurement, I'd love to be able to fit into my size 6 pants again, assuming I haven't given them all away, but that might be unrealistic. Women's clothing sizes are notoriously useless anyway. I suppose I can just use the old "pinch an inch" method at the waist, and/or see if my double chin disappears. That's always the last to go.

Any support my friends can give me in my health endeavors would be much appreciated.
Tags: fitness, health

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