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Thought-provoking essay on polyamory - the funcrunch files

Nov. 28th, 2007 01:07 pm Thought-provoking essay on polyamory

The Strange Credibility of Polyamory essay by inki is good reading. Long but worth digesting the whole thing, including the comments. I especially like this insight (though it is bound to be controversial):

Monogamy, at its core, is about sexual fidelity, or rather, sexual fidelity is the one thing you need to be monogamous. Everything else is optional, like marriage, or living together, or not living with other people, or who you share secrets with, and so on. We can also see this in the contrapositive: having more than one sexual partner is by definition nonmonogamous. In other words, monogamy is actually "all about the sex", or rather who you have sex with is monogamy's first and most crucial requirement.

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Date:November 29th, 2007 12:41 am (UTC)
Heya! Thanks for the link! And, I've friended you. Apparently I need to do better at keeping up with the friends list.
Date:November 29th, 2007 07:10 am (UTC)
Thanks for writing the essay! I found it through polyweekly. And thanks for friending me back! I set up a notification so I know immediately when someone friends me, but it's not active in LJ by default...
Date:November 30th, 2007 04:09 pm (UTC)
I found this article via the sfbay-poly mailing list. Interesting stuff! I guess I would just add to the bit you quoted that monogamy is not only "all about the sex" but also all about whom you love. At least, that was the true in my marriage breakup. That disaster happened as a result of my having fallen in love with a platonic friend. In fact, my spouse said she would have been happier if I'd had sex with my friend instead of loving her.
Date:December 1st, 2007 09:09 am (UTC)
just fyi, I'll be out that way in Feb.